


Emperor Belos: Great Dictator, Average Father

by FoxOnPie



Series: Luz Thanaroa Noceda, Princess of the Boiling Isles [1]
Category: Cthulhu Mythos - Fandom, The Owl House (Cartoon)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Crack, Awkwardness, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cthulhu Mythos, Dad!Belos, Emperor Belos is Luz's Father, F/F, F/M, Family, Father-Daughter Relationship, Fatherhood, Fluff and Crack, Mythical Beings & Creatures, Mythology - Freeform, Tentacle Monsters, Tentacles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-31
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:48:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,074
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26218882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FoxOnPie/pseuds/FoxOnPie
Summary: Many people thought that a marriage between a human nurse and the almighty dictator of a magical world was doomed to fail. Well, Camila Noceda and Emperor Belos got married despite the naysayers, and after eighteen years, they are still divorced. At least their daughter always has fun with them, whether as a regular face in the crowd or as the princess of the Boiling Isles.Now with a TV Tropes page! https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Fanfic/EmperorBelosGreatDictatorAverageFather
Relationships: Alador Blight/Odalia Blight, Amity Blight/Luz Noceda, Boscha/Willow Park, Emira Blight/Viney, Other Relationship Tags to Be Added, Past Emperor Belos/Camilia Noceda, Past Odalia Blight/Lilith Clawthorne
Series: Luz Thanaroa Noceda, Princess of the Boiling Isles [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1904134
Comments: 148
Kudos: 404





	1. Is It Summer, Already?

Sitting on his throne, with only the flames of his torches and the beating of the heart above his head for audio, Emperor Belos found himself basking in a rare moment of contentment. Everything in the world was calm, everything was at peace, everything was proceeding as he had wished it to. It wasn't often that he had chances to just feel good about his life, and now that one had presented itself, he wasn't about to waste it.

"They're ready for you, Your Majesty." And there was no better way to capitalize on it all than with a rousing speech to the loyal members of the Emperor's Coven. As Kikimora wheeled the giant crystal ball in front of him, he almost wished it was still feasible for him to smile.

"Well, let's not keep them waiting now." Belos snapped his fingers and turned on the crystal, greeting himself with the sight of hundreds of loyal subjects. "My loyal Coven, we of the Boiling Isles are on the precipice of great change. Fifty years ago, I came to you all as an emissary of the Titan and snuffed out the chaotic ways of old to bring about order, but what is coming will make that all look minuscule by comparison. Soon, true order shall wash over the Boiling Isles and beyond, whether the people want it or not. Once the Day of Unity arrives, with your help, I will bring peace, freedom, justice, and security—"

In the middle of Belos' charismatic and well-crafted speech, a scroll started ringing, and with it, the heart above his head started beating faster.

"As I was saying, I will bring peace," The ringing continued and the heart kept beating faster, "freedom," the ringing continued and the heart kept beating faster, "um, justice," the ringing continued and the heart kept beating faster, "and, well, secu—" the ringing continued and the heart kept beating faster, "Okay, whose scroll is that?"

"My Lord?" Belos elected to ignore Kikimora.

"Seriously, whose is it? You all know that you're supposed to have your scrolls rolled up during a meeting. I've made that rule very clear all the way back to the sign-up period because I wanted to prevent this _exact_ situation! Why did I even print those pamphlets if you're just going to ignore me?"

"My Lord?" Belos elected to ignore Kikimora.

"I mean, if you're not going to roll it up, at least have the decency to put it on vibrate. If you had it on vibrate and then at least made an effort to sneak off and answer it, I'd be okay with that, but you're not doing that. You're not just annoying me, you're annoying all the people who actually _want_ to hear our plans for magical conquest. Do you not realize how rude you're being right now? And you're making it even worse by not just answering it now!"

"My Lord?"

"What _is_ it, Kikimora?" Kikimora said nothing as she pointed directly at him. "Oh. That's my scroll ringing, isn't it?" Kikimora nodded her head and the heart above his head stopped beating as fast. "Well, this is embarrassing. Sorry about that." Belos waved a finger and spun the crystal ball around. "They can still see me, can't they?"

"Yes, yes they can," Kikimora said.

"Everything I said about scroll usage still stands; learn to be better than me." Belos' scroll popped into the air next to him and he moved to answer it; the sooner it was dealt with, the better. "Yes, who is this? ...Uh-huh. ...Uh-huh. ...I see. Well, I'll see what I can do about that. Goodbye." Belos rolled up his scroll and made it vanish. "Shit." Belos stood up from his throne, and as he did, the heart above his head started beating faster. "I just realized that I have an important engagement to keep, so I will be going now. Do not fret, for Kikimora knows the rest of my brilliant speech by heart."

"I do?"

"You better. Goodbye." With that, Belos twisted his body through the floor and left everyone behind. Despite the rather grotesque appearance the spell created, it was perfectly harmless when used by someone such as himself.

However, if he couldn't smooth things over with the person who was on the other end of the line, he'd be feeling more pain than a spell like that could ever inflict upon someone.

* * *

It was rare for Belos to ever get emotional, and of the emotions he rarely allowed himself to feel, it was rarer still for him to feel nervous. He wasn't nervous when his army was outnumbered three to one at the Battle of the Bulge, he wasn't nervous when he was almost put under the thrall of Mamaki, the terrifying, yet oddly erotic, demon of control, and he most certainly wasn't nervous when it was one minute until the beginning of his tap recital and his parents still hadn't shown up at the school auditorium—they never did, but that was a story to be repressed for another day. None of those things made him feel nervous in the slightest, yet he felt like he was going to die just from the mere thought of how those two people would react the second he stepped outside of his portal. Hopefully bringing food for them would serve to make the apology go over well.

"Dad, you're here!" A small child ran up and hugged his midsection. Such an action would normally have someone sent straight to the Conformatorium for the rest of their days, but not this girl. This smiling, happy young girl was free to hug him as much and as long as she pleased, and he was more than happy to return the favor.

"Luz, my little girl, it's great to see you." That was true; seeing his daughter was one of the true delights he allowed himself that didn't involve asserting his dominance over others. "I brought candy from that confectionary place we like to go to."

"Oh, cool!" Belos handed an ornate box to Luz and she opened it to reveal over a dozen wriggling chocolate tentacles and blinking clusters of chocolate eyeballs. Luz grabbed one of the feisty ones, as she often liked to do, and swallowed it whole. "Oh man, these are always so good!"

"Nothing but the best for my precious little _orr'e_." Seeing Luz's smile, even with bits of chocolate and suction cups falling off of it, always did a perfect job of lifting his spirits. He could hardly remember what had him feeling so nervous on the portal trip over.

"Hello, Belos." Yes, there it was. Now he remembered what the real hurdle was, and it was the woman staring at him from the other end of the room as if she was trying to melt his flesh with pure rage, alone.

"Camilia. You're looking well. How are things?"

"Oh, great. Except for the fact that I had to come home from work to find our daughter _still_ waiting for her father to come to pick her up," Camilia said. It was very hard for Belos to not act on his urge to run away.

"Mom, it was only a couple of hours. Not like I didn't just keep watching TV and working on some fanfiction like I did when you left for work," Luz said.

"That's not the point, _mija_. He's supposed to be here on time, and he _knows_ that."

"I do, I do, and I'm sorry. I got caught up in my work, and with how taxing running a totalitarian regime is, I feel like that should give me a pass," Belos said. "Not that that should dissuade you from keeping the family business going, Luz. Sometimes, it's just better to leave the thinking to other people, you know?"

"You are not allowed to make excuses, and for the hundredth time, stop trying to teach our daughter about the 'benefits' of totalitarianism!"

"You know, when you use air quotes like that, it gives the impression that you think that there are no benefits."

"I think that's the point, Dad," Luz said.

"Really? Well, that's just rude." Camilia immediately started going off on him in Spanish; he had almost forgotten how much he hadn't missed that. "Okay, maybe you have a point there—That's a good one, too, but—Hey, now that was uncalled for! I don't—Okay, two can play at that game, you know!" Belos followed Camilia's lead and started going off in his own eldritch language. It had been a while since Belos and Camilia had argued with each other in their respective tongues, and if it wasn't for the general negativity of the whole thing, he might have enjoyed the nostalgic aspect of it.

"Hey! Hey!" Luz's cries were largely ignored up until she started switching between both Belos and Camilia's languages. Once that happened, the two of them stopped their fighting, partly because of the specific words she was saying, partly because of the unexpected way she said them.

"Oh, my baby girl's been practicing her R'lyehian. Ah, that warms my—Well, it makes me happy, anyway," Belos said. "Just think. Today you're using it to diffuse an argument between your mother and me, but tomorrow, you're using it to shout a battle cry as your legion of followers rain fury down upon your enemies. It would make me feel teary if I was still physically capable of crying."

"I feel like we're skipping a _lot_ of steps there, but did you two actually listen to me?" Luz asked.

"I think so? Did we?"

"I think so," Camilia said with a sigh. It seemed that Belos did a good job of reading the room and remembering one of the rules they tried to maintain over the years: when Luz says that they need to stop fighting, then they stop fighting. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, okay?"

"No, it's my fault. I really do need to be better about these things. Family shouldn't come second to ruling over people with an iron fist." Belos pulled another box of chocolate out of his cloak. "This, it doesn't make up for anything, but there's the little green-filled kind in here that I know you like." Camilia just glared at him. "This is the part where you take it and we move on."

At the very least, Camilia took the chocolate. He could live with that.

"You two should get going before one of the neighbors sees you. I still don't know why you never change your clothes when you come to pick her up," Camilia said.

"I shouldn't have to dress lesser just to—Nope, we just finished that, not starting it again." With that being said, Belos summoned his staff into his hand and used it to draw a magical, blood-red pentagram in the air. Magic oozed out of the shape and dripped out like a liquid that pooled onto the floor in a large circle. The pentagram fell onto the circle and spun around in a blurring motion until the entire figure vanished in a white light and left behind an abyssal pit in the floor.

"Call me as soon as you get settled in, Luz," Camilia said.

"And at the end of every week. I know the drill," Luz said. Camilia leaned down and kissed her on her forehead.

"Love you, sweetie."

"Love you, too, _mama_. See you at the end of the summer! See you on the other side, _ygnaiih_!" Suitcase and chocolate in hand, Luz gave Camilia one more wave and jumped into the nearly infinite void below.

"Well, as Luz said, she'll call you later today and at the end of every week," Belos said.

"Yep." A silence entered the air between them. Their daughter was truly an underappreciated boon.

"I should go now, right?"

"You should have already left."

"Quite possibly." More silence entered the air between them. "So, whatever happened with that one guy—"

"Go. Now."

"Going." Belos jumped into the portal and proceeded to do just that. All in all, it was one of their better reunions, so that was something to be happy about, at least.

* * *

Despite the outside appearance of the portal, the inside was surprisingly bright, at least around the people who were traveling through it. The brightness was due to the ethereal barrier of light the spell naturally formed around people using the spell, a necessity for dealing with the realm of chaos and nightmare incarnate that needed to be traversed to go to and from the Demon Realm. The barrier is rather fragile, however, and can break if put under too much stress, so anyone able to use the spell is advised to proceed with caution and let the magic push them through at a leisurely pace.

"Boo!" The sole exception was when you wanted to catch up to your daughter who went ahead of you and give her a tiny bit of a startling, as Belos had just done.

"Ah. How terrifying," Luz said.

"I've still got it," Belos said.

"Yep. Still can't believe we're not even there yet. I wish this thing wasn't so slow."

"Yes, it is rather inconvenient, especially since the caster is only allowed to take two people with them, at most. I'm working on acquiring a better means of interdimensional travel, but it's a lot harder than you think it'd be."

"You know what would be really convenient, though? If I could just do this spell, myself."

"We've been over this before, Luz. Even if that odd human magic you do worked in the Human Realm, you wouldn't be strong enough to use this spell. Even I feel winded whenever I use it, and I'm the strongest, smartest, and most handsome witch on the Boiling Isles."

"And most humble, don't forget about that."

"Heaven forbid I forget about that." Luz let out a laugh. It had been too long since he last heard that. "Thanks for helping out back there. Your mother and I just get so caught up in our own nonsense sometimes."

"I wish you two would try harder not to do that, though. I mean, it's not like you _have_ to be one of those divorced couples who just fight all the time. Just because you're not together anymore doesn't mean you can't get along, right?" Now Luz was eating the rest of her chocolate with a frown. Belos refused to let that stand.

"I know that, and your mother knows that, but hey, if we were smarter about dealing with each other, we wouldn't have gotten divorced in the first place, you know?" Luz didn't laugh like she was supposed to. "I guess that wasn't funny, but it does lead into a very important Belos Bulletin."

"Not a Belos Bulletin."

"Yes, a Belos Bulletin. When you're in a relationship, you need to make an effort to both listen to what your partner wants to have happen and try to make it happen. I should have made more of an effort to listen to your mother when she wanted to go dancing or go out for dinner, and your mother should have made more of an effort to listen to me when I wanted her to take a seat by my side as we watch our enemies burn to ash under the weight of my magical fury. You can't really say that either of us was wrong."

"I feel like it would be very easy to do that."

"You'd think so, but it just isn't. Life is tricky like that, sometimes." Luz rolled her eyes before letting out a small laugh. That was it. That was what he liked to hear. "Okay, enough about your mother and me. You must be pretty excited to get another break from the mundane drudgery that is the Human Realm, yes?"

"I wouldn't call it drudgery, mostly because I don't know what that word means, but yeah, I can't wait to see my friends and get back to really practicing magic. It's going to be so much fun!"

"Not as much fun as getting more time to hang out with your old man, though, right?" Luz said nothing. "Right?" Luz said nothing. "Come on, don't do this to me. Not in front of the unruly denizens of the nightmare dimension."

"Yes, of course, I'm happy to spend more time with you." Luz gave a playful punch to his arm that wouldn't have hurt even if he still had feeling in it.

"Yes! That's what I like to hear from my precious _orr'e_."

"I know, _ygnaiih_. Oh, look, we're here!" A white tear in space opened up in their path that sucked the two of them in. Once the light had faded, their respective barriers vanished and the two of them re-emerged inside of the throne room, where Kikimora was still in the middle of finishing his speech. It was supposed to run for twenty minutes, so she was still on track.

"Emperor Belos, you've returned. Would you care to continue your speech, then? Not that I don't enjoy continuing your work, and I'm certainly not improvising with whatever comes to mind, but—Oh my word, it's the princess!" Kikimora fell down to one knee so fast and so hard that Belos thought she would crack the floor; it was a good floor, so he was happy she didn't.

"The princess is back?"

"The princess is back!"

"I love you, princess!" More and more soldiers on the other side of the crystal ball kept saying more and more things of that nature, all of which made Luz start blushing and get increasingly red in the face.

"You know, I always forget about this part. Still not super keen on it," Luz said.

"You'll learn to love it, eventually. Can't rule over people if you can't deal with groveling, after all," Belos said. "Well, this wasn't on the agenda for today, but now my plans for you all have the greatest witness to them possible. Please allow me to formally announce the return of my heir, princess Luz Thanaroa Noceda, to the Boiling Isles!" Everyone on the other side of the crystal ball fell into an uproar, as they should. There was no better way to react to his daughter, after all.

"I keep forgetting, but what does my middle name mean, again?" Luz asked through all the cheering.

"It is a name meant to invoke a feeling of true brilliance in the middle of utter malevolence. It seemed appropriate, and will continue to be appropriate until the end of time."

"Right. Can I go see Amity after I unpack?"

"Yes, but," Belos took a breath, "you should probably call your mother first. She'd appreciate it, you know?"

"I know, _ygnaiih_." Luz leaned in close and kissed his mask, an act he missed far too much. She then pulled out a piece of paper and drew the wind glyph on it, and upon activation, she summoned a small tornado that lifted her luggage into the air next to her and kept it there. "See you at dinner!" With that, Luz ran off to her bedroom with her luggage following close behind in the air, waving to the soldiers of the Emperor's Coven one last time and inciting even more cheering from them.

"Kikimora, the cleaning staff has been keeping Luz's room in pristine condition, yes?" Kikimora stood up and nodded her head. "Good. I'd hate to have to imprison them in the Conformatorium. A man shouldn't have to go through five cleaning staffs, you know?"

"I know, my Lord." It was good that she knew that, Belos told himself. Belos waved a finger to shut off the crystal ball and sat back down on his throne.

"I know I'm not showing it, but I'm feeling even happier now than I was when I left, Kikimora. How could I not be? My baby girl is back!"

"I'm aware of that, Your Majesty."

"Oh, what fun we're going to have. I get to help her with her magic, we can go camping, go see a few Grudgby games, even the ones she doesn't do that cheerleader thing for, and in spite of what her mother says, I can keep teaching her about the benefits of ruling over others through an unflinching dictatorship. She's a teenager now, so I think now's when she'll truly be receptive to that Belos Bulletin."

"What a pleasure it is that we'll get to hear more of those," Kikimora said.

"I know, right?" The heart above him had a slow and steady beat to it. The perfect audio to begin what would be a perfect three months. "This is going to be the best summer ever. I can feel it in eldritch bones."


	2. The Royal Entourage of Princess Luz

There were many days where Amity wondered why she hadn't already quit playing Grudgby. It wasn't that she hated playing it or anything, because she didn't—the thrill of being superior to people in a sport was far more manageable than the thrill of being superior to people in academics, after all. The sport and the things she did for it were always enjoyable, but playing it so often as she did tended to make it feel boring and tedious.

"How many times do I have to try and make it clear that you embarrassed me?"

"I don't know, how many times do I have to tell you that I don't care about stroking your ego?" Willow and Boscha constantly fighting during and after games certainly added to the negatives.

"I had a clear game plan that you were supposed to follow, but you just _had_ to ignore it and go do your own thing!" Boscha said.

"Your plan left our entire left flank open, Boscha. If I didn't stay where I was, I couldn't have intercepted the ball with my vines and score us that goal to earn us the lead we kept for the rest of the game!" Willow said.

"I _wanted_ them to go to the left, you idiot! I timed it so that when they all got left, they'd get caught in the rising phoenix trap next time it went off, but because of _you_ , the only one who was caught in it was _me_! My uniform is going to smell like the fiery resin of the undead for a week!"

"So it's an upgrade from your usual perfume, then. Got it."

"I swear to God, Willow, I'm going to—"

"Okay, enough, already!" Amity said, snapping around at her friends and stopping the both of them in their tracks. "We can't keep doing this after every game, guys! I am ordering you two to knock it off right now, until the end of time! Captain's orders!"

"Wait a minute, that's right! You're the captain, so how come you didn't say anything when Willow went off book?" Boscha asked.

"Better yet, why didn't you say anything about how stupid Boscha's plan was?" Willow asked. Both of them were leaning towards her with fierce glares.

"Because I didn't—Hey, don't make this about me! This is about you two!" Amity said.

"Yeah, and the two of us are wondering why our captain apparently can't be bothered to captain!" Boscha said.

"Seriously! You can't just let things keep escalating more and more and only step in when it starts being inconvenient for you! That's not cool!" Willow said. The two of them leaned towards her even more to the point that Amity was starting to fall over. With that, Amity became reminded of another reason why she often thought of quitting Grudgby: whenever she managed to get Willow and Boscha to stop being mad at each other, it was because she had done something to unite them in being mad at her. It was always good when they stopped fighting, but she would have preferred it to not be at her own expense.

"Look, can we just drop this, already?" Amity asked as everyone fell back into more natural postures.

"No! You can't just tell us to stop because we're inconveniencing you, you know!" Boscha said. "Oh my God, now you've got me agreeing with Willow, of all people! I hope you're happy, Amity!"

"Better than the other way around," Willow said.

"Willow, do _not_ make me—" Boscha trailed off from there, and just as suddenly, her scowl turned into a big smile with all three of her eyes lighting up, accordingly; there was even a small, high-pitched squeal leaving her mouth, not unlike the sound of air slowly leaving a balloon. It wasn't a particularly new sight for Amity, but it was a rare one, and there was only one situation she knew of that could make it happen while she was in the middle of a fight with Willow, a situation that, if it were really happening, would be exactly what she needed to lift her spirits, and then some.

"Hey, girls! Guess who's back? It's me, Luz!" Sure enough, when Amity turned around, she was treated to the sight of a small twister carrying none other than Luz Noceda, princess of the Boiling Isles, and her best friend in the world. Without even thinking about it, Amity both found herself smiling and at a loss for words.

"Hey, Luz. Didn't know you were coming back today—" Willow was interrupted by Boscha deciding to let everything out in a high-pitched scream.

"Princess Luz, you're back! You're really back!" Boscha said, still squealing as she rushed ahead towards Luz. "This is a dream come true! You don't know how happy I am to have you grace us with your presence once more. It had been so long since the last blessing that I was starting to lose hope, but now you're here again, and it's wonderful!"

"Boscha, I love that you're excited to see me, but I had to go home because my dad only has custody for the summer. It was the exact same thing that happens every year. You know this," Luz said as her twister died down and she landed on the ground; unconsciously, Amity took a step back.

"I know I should, but I always forget, and then I always get so lonely waiting for you to come back, Princess Luz, because how could that _not_ happen when you're the Princess?" Boscha then bowed so deeply that her head almost touched the ground. "I understand if I need to be shamed for my forgetfulness, but please find it in your merciful and splendid heart to make it painless!"

"What, no! I'm not gonna hurt you just for forgetting how long I would be away. Not like you forgot something important like a battle formation or your proper place in society. Some of that might be my dad, but still, this is all perfectly fine."

"Really?"

"Really." Luz gave Boscha a couple of pats on the head. Immediately after, Boscha let out a squeal and started jumping around on the balls of her feet, each bounce coupled with a praise about Luz touching her.

"And with that, we get the return of the Boscha who's arguably more annoying than the normal one," Willow said.

"I don't know, Willow, I think they both have their charm," Luz said. "Oh my God, Willow, I didn't say hi to you. Hi!" Willow said hi back and Luz brought her in for a hug.

"H-Hi, Luz!" Amity's staggered greeting was enough to grab Luz's attention, and as conceited as it might have sounded, Amity could have sworn that Luz's smile got even bigger when she looked at her.

"There she is! There's Amity!" Luz let go of Willow and brought Amity into a hug even bigger than Willow's. "You cannot believe how much I've wanted to see my favorite little Choco-Mint again! Seeing you on Christmas just made it even harder to wait for summer to roll around, you know?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know." A reminder of their Christmas excursion. Calling her by an affectionate nickname she actually enjoyed. Prolonged physical contact. Amity was surprised that she hadn't passed out on the spot.

"That's right. Amity, and only Amity, got to spend a week alone with you last winter," Boscha said, coming out of her hopping with a dour tone of voice. "She got the privilege of entering the human dwelling of the princess and being in close proximity of her at a time when we normally can't be with her. I had forgotten how much I was seething with jealousy over that—"

"I'm sure it would have been even more fun with you and everyone else there, Boscha," Luz interjected.

"But it doesn't matter anymore, because you're here, now! Yay, Princess Luz!" Boscha went back to sounding ecstatic over everything. Willow was rolling her eyes at it all, but Amity could tell even she was feeling less frustrated with it all.

"So, you're all probably wondering how I knew where to find you," Luz said as she, to Amity's dissatisfaction, ended the hug. "Well, I knew you all had a Grudgby game today, and I know that you always go to Grimgrub's Pub after a win, which I knew would happen because the fearsome threesome of Amity, Willow, and Boscha cannot be beat—" Boscha let out a squeal at hearing her name be mentioned. "So, yeah, I was hiding in a tree and I waited for you all to walk down this road. Surprise!"

"Yes! Your deductive reasoning is truly impeccable, Princess!" Boscha said, adding in applause, for whatever reason.

"Right. Right. Anyway, I just wish I had gotten here a couple of hours ago when the game was still going on. The real way I wanted to surprise everyone was by crashing the game with one of my cheer routines. People love it when I do that, especially the squad."

"Not just especially them, I'm pretty sure," Willow said while looking right at Amity. Amity just remembered one of the reasons why Grudgby was still worth her time, so not even Willow doing her usual thing would get to her.

"So, even though I wasn't involved in the game like I wanted to be, I'm gonna join you for your little victory lunch."

"Yes, please!" Amity said. "I mean, yeah, that'd be cool. You're back for the summer, so why not celebrate that, right? Makes sense to me." Somehow, Amity managed to stick the landing.

"Yes, Yes, Yes! I'm going to go ahead and make sure no one's sitting at Princess Luz's favorite table! Please don't stop being excellent and wonderful in that time, Princess!" Boscha said, running off to do just that.

"I should go after her," Willow said. "If there are people sitting at the table Boscha decided is Luz's favorite, there's a good chance she'll try and stab them to make them leave, and Luz shouldn't have to use her power to get her out of trouble this early into her stay." Luz agreed to that, and Willow took off after Boscha.

"We should probably get going, too. Knowing those two, leaving them alone is bound to create a new problem, all on its own," Amity said. "It, um, it really is great to have you back here, Luz."

"And it's great to be back, Choco-Mint." Luz smiled at her as she took her hand and dragged her down the street. Feelings of bliss outweighed feelings of embarrassment, so Amity couldn't bring herself to try and do anything about it.

Not that she even wanted to.

* * *

To the surprise of no one, Amity and Luz did walk into Grimgrub's Pub to find Willow having to use her plants to prevent Boscha from violently ejecting people from the table she had decided was Luz's favorite. Luz used an ice glyph to extinguish the fireball Boscha had warmed up, and that, coupled with Luz pointing to an empty table and saying that that was her new favorite, was enough to pacify and get her back to doing nothing but sing Luz's praises.

"Hey, it's Princess Luz!"

"The Princess is back! Hexnet didn't lie to us!"

"Yay, Princess Luz!" Naturally, it didn't take very long after that for the bar patrons to recognize Luz and start gushing over her. Also naturally, Boscha made sure she was the loudest.

"Hello, everyone. Great to see this place is as grimy and destitute as ever, just the way I like it," Luz said. "I know that you're all probably clamoring to rush over and have me sign your faces and whatnot, but I just want to eat with my buds—"

"I'm one of the buds! Me!" Boscha cut in.

"—so we can do that later. For now, a round of ambrosia for everyone! My treat!" The barkeep, a man with a chainsaw sticking out of his metallic head, whirred with excitement that was quickly matched by the rest of the bar, and glasses of golden ambrosia appeared in everyone's hands.

"Wow, and you're already trending on Penstagram. Usually, it takes an extra thirty minutes for that to happen," Willow said, looking at her scroll as they all sat down.

"It just goes to show you that our Princess gets even greater every year—No, with every passing second," Boscha said.

"Either that or she did something stupid to draw attention to herself before we met up."

"How _dare_ you even suggest that Princess Luz would—"

"I actually did get caught spitting up a soy-based milkshake," Luz said. "I saw a cloud that looked like a zombie werewolf doing the running man, and that looked really funny to me, and the next thing I know, I'm down one milkshake." Amity couldn't help but let out a little laugh at that.

"Haha, yes! As always, Princess Luz, you are a master of comedy!" Boscha, conversely, let out a big laugh that was clearly overcompensating. The way Luz could make her switch from arrogant jerk to goofy brownnoser was always an amusing thing to behold.

"Well, I guess that explains all these texts I've been getting from Lilith that have her acting like the world's about to end," Amity said.

"Oh, that Lilith. Always liking to joke around about how much she loves me. That's part of what makes her a great teacher, though," Luz said. Amity had to disagree with a good deal of that, but she knew from experience that it was a wasted effort to get Luz to think differently about Lilith, so she kept it to herself. "Can't wait to get back to magic lessons where I actually use magic and don't just study a bunch of stuff from the books my dad wrote. The material is fine, but I can't help but get a lot of mixed messages from reading books like _How to Sing a Song to Celebrate the Collapsing Wills of Your Enemies_ and _The True Abomination is Free Will: The Best Way to Use Abominations to Beat Out Independent Thought_. Then again, I have been learning a lot, so maybe I'm just being weird."

"Yeah, no, that's on your dad. Please don't tell him I said that, though," Willow said, taking a hurried sip of her ambrosia.

"Either way, just gotta find a way to pass the time for the next couple weeks until the next semester at Hexside starts, and I'll be back to reading textbooks without a totalitarian agenda to them. At least one that isn't so blatant, because I honestly wouldn't care that much if Dad could just keep it to subtext, you know?"

"Sort of, I guess?" Amity asked. She was being as truthful as she could be about that. Her parents had a tendency to be aggravating, that was undeniable, but it never got to the point that they could be put on equal footing to their unflinching, fearless leader; it certainly helped that Amity knew that the same man who inspired fear in thousands of witches was also the same man who would gush over baby pictures of his daughter that Amity most certainly didn't ask for copies of.

At that moment, Amity received a text on her scroll. Boscha was capturing everyone's attention with another speech about how wonderful Luz was, so she took that chance to see who it was.

_Princess Luz is back on the Boiling Isles, so you better be where she is, Amity_. It was her parents, because of course, it was.

_Mom, you do know that you don't need to force me to hang out with Luz, right?_ Amity texted.

_So you say, but I think we both know how passive you can be around the princess_ , her mother texted back.

_Just because I don't gush over everything she does like Boscha doesn't mean I'm passive._

_You say that, but you're still little more than her best friend, aren't you? How do you explain that? Sincerely, Alador Blight_ , her father texted. Amity let out a small yelp that, fortunately, went ignored by the rest of the group.

_I told you that I don't want to talk about this with you two, so stop bringing it up._

_Request denied. You know as well as I do that this is a golden opportunity amongst golden opportunities, Amity. Sincerely, Alador Blight._

_Listen to your father, sweetie. Our family can only associate with the cream of the crop by design. Sure, we're friends with the royal family, but imagine what it could mean for us if one of our children could actually marry the Princess, and who better to do that than you?_ her mother texted. Amity let out another yelp, and to her relief, it still went unnoticed.

_Why do we have to do this every time Luz is back in town?_ Amity texted. _I don't care that you guys want to have a Blight running the Isles one day, stop trying to make me use my feelings for Luz to advance your political agenda!_

_Oh, so you_ do _have feelings for the princess, then?_ For some reason, it was Emira who texted that.

_Mother, did you send a text from the family group chat again?_

_What's a group chat?_ her mother texted.

_Sounds like a yes to me_ , texted Edric. _You really should make a move one of these days, Mittens. The more you dance around it, the bigger chance you give Boscha to swoop in for the kill._

_I'm not worried about that. Boscha's only in love with the idea of Luz, after all_ , Amity texted, hoping to convince herself of her own words.

_That better be it. If you or anyone else in this family lost Princess Luz to Boscha, of all people, your mother would never let me hear the end of it. Sincerely, Alador Blight_ , her father texted.

_It's true. If you care about your father's safety, then it would be in the best interest of one of you to hurry up and woo the princess_ , her mother texted.

_Stop trying to push this so much. Also, why is this suddenly open to all three of us?_ Amity texted.

_Come on, Mittens, like you're the only one out of the three of us who thinks Luz is super adorable_ , Edric texted.

_Yeah, like Ed and I won't take a stab at her the second you make it clear that you're never gonna try anything_ , Emira texted.

_You wanna tell me how you think your girlfriend would react to this, Emira?_ Amity texted back, her fingers hitting the buttons on her scroll harder than need be.

_She would be thrilled that I took advantage of such a wonderful opportunity._ The rational part of Amity's mind knew that Edric and Emira were just messing with her, but every other part of her mind had the urge to flay them alive. _Tell you what, Mittens? After I marry Luz and become Empress, I'll see what I can do to convince her to make you a royal concubine. Would you like that, Mittens? Would you like to be a concubine?_

_Can I be a concubine?_ Edric texted.

_Sure. The more, the merrier. Also, Edric, since I know you're thinking it, that does not mean we're all in the same bed at the same time._

_You read my mind, sis._ Rationality was losing out once more, and Amity couldn't hold back her desire to kill the both of them.

_No one in this family is becoming a concubine, royal or otherwise. We're Blights, we only marry, and we only marry people of equal or greater status to ourselves_ , her mother texted.

_Wait a minute, Odalia, I don't know if I agree with that. My family isn't as well off as yours, and we still got married, so what does that say? Sincerely, Alador Blight_ , her father texted.

_It says a lot, that's for sure._ With that, Amity fully expected to see her father hitting the apple blood when she got home. _Look, the point is, Amity, please try and make a modicum of romantic progress with Princess Luz. I want my grandchildren to be royalty, young lady._

_That's enough of this. Goodbye_ , Amity texted before sending her scroll away. She didn't care if Mother of Father—probably not Father, who would most likely be sulking—scolded her when she got home, there was only so much prodding about Luz that she could take.

"Who were you texting just now?" Speak of the devil, Luz was now right in her face to a borderline uncomfortable degree.

"Just my parents bugging me about stuff that doesn't require their input," Amity said, doing her best to back away from Luz without being too obvious about it.

"What, like school? That figures. Like you need anyone to tell you how to be number one. Agh, now I'm thinking about Hexside again and how much it sucks that I have to wait for the next semester to start before I can go back! Why can't human school and magic school have their calendars line up better, Amity? Why?"

"I know, right? It's bad enough that we only get to bask in your warmth for three months, so why does the academic calendar have to shorten the time we can spend together even more? It's not fair!" Boscha cried.

"I agree for reasons that should be treated as a lot healthier," Willow said.

"You know what? I'm putting 'Changing the academic calendar' on the list of things to do when I become Empress. Making it official!" Luz said, pulling out her phone and presumably adding on to said list. "Yup. Going right after 'Put in a new water slide in the amusement park' and 'Reignite trade agreements with Lemuria that fell apart years ago due to Dad refusing to compromise with them and their pro-Theosophic traditions'. They make really good sausage there, so I wanna get that one done as soon as possible. Speaking of which, Amity, you should probably start eating before your food gets too cold."

"What?" Amity looked down and saw that her usual post-victory meal was in front of her. "When did this get here?"

"While you were texting away on your scroll," Willow said. "You probably didn't notice because of how engaging your whole conversation was. I mean, that's what it sounded like, anyway." The way Willow bit into her salad made all of her implications plain as day.

"Oh, I'm so excited for this!" Luz said with sparkling eyes. "Grimgrub's makes the best empanadas on the Boiling Isles; if I can't have my mom's, then I just gotta have these!" Luz took a whiff of the food in front of her and stared down at her plate with a big smile. After that, she grabbed at her chin and lifted the skin on her face up a few inches, just enough for a few of her tentacles to slip through the confines of her human flesh and start shoveling the food into her body.

"Princess Luz's tentacles have become an even more beautiful sight than ever! See how she leans her tentacle upon her empanada. Oh, that I were dough upon that filling that I might touch that tentacle!" Boscha said, talking about Luz the only way she seemed to know how to do it.

"Thank you, Boscha, for doing a splendid job of ruining one of the few good pieces of human theater," Willow said.

"Take it up with someone who cares," Boscha said, her smile not wavering in the slightest as she spoke. It took all that Amity had to stop herself at just a sigh.

"Man, I have gone _way_ too long without a good leviathan empanada! Tastes even better than I remember!" In the middle of all of that, Luz was happily praising her food while readjusting her flesh. As she happily chewed her food, Amity noticed that the tip of one of her tentacles was poking out of her face and, without thinking, poked it back inside of her.

The realization of what she had done made her red in the face, and rather than think about why Luz was looking equally red, she decided to simply focus on her food.

* * *

After finishing their food and waiting for Luz to be done signing people's faces, it became time for everyone to go home. It took nearly five minutes for Willow to get Boscha to accept the fact that she had to leave Luz alone and go home, and even after that, they could hear her shouting for Luz from her bedroom window. Willow was far less obnoxious about saying goodbye to Luz, but Luz still dragged out her farewell, either way. Once that was finished, Amity was the only one who was still with Luz. Just the two of them walking through town as the sun began to set and the death cicadas began to buzz about. If the mood was any more romantic, Amity would have sworn that her parents had something to do with it, but for now, she wouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth.

"And our last stop of the royal escort service—wow, did not realize how bad that sounded until it came out of my mouth—is none other than Blight Manor, the humble abode of the smartest, nicest, coolest, and all-around best witch on the Boiling Isles, Amity Blight!" Luz said, a fanciful bow from her punctuating the statement.

"Only when you're not here, you know," Amity said. She could feel her face going red as the implications of what she said sunk in, and with how Luz stumbled out of her bow, she must have been rightfully put off by the whole thing.

"Yeah, well, yes, thank you. Yeah." Luz let out a small cough. "Come to think of it, Edric and Emira are probably home. Mind if I pop in and say hello?"

"What?" Luz wanted to come into her house. By herself. Probably to spend an extended amount of time in her bedroom. At a time period when her family would be milling about and would be at their most obnoxious with attempting to force something to happen between them. She had good reasons to accept Luz's offer, but she had equally good reasons to decline it. Amity had no idea what path she should go down, and the fact that she had most likely been staring at Luz in silence for a minute and fifteen seconds was only making things worse for her.

As Amity kept her mental debate going longer than she would have liked it to, a pillar of flesh suddenly shot out of the ground behind Luz. For a second, Amity readied herself to jump in and defend Luz from the incoming threat, but she immediately stopped herself when the pillar of flesh molded itself into the shape of none other than Emperor Belos, who Luz immediately proceeded to hug.

"Hi, Dad!" Luz said in the middle of the aforementioned hug.

"Hello, Luz," Emperor Belos said while patting the top of her head. He then turned his head towards Amity and stared at her with his soulless eyes. "Hello, Amity. You're doing well, I see." Amity was used to the coldness after so many years and had long since been able to tell when there was actual malice coming from him, but she could still never stop herself from allowing a chill to run up her spine in their initial greetings.

"Yes, thank you, your majesty!" As such, Amity couldn't prevent herself from bowing so low to him that her head nearly hit the ground.

"Come on, Amity, you don't need to do that. Yeah, he's your fearless leader and all, but before all that, he's just my dad," Luz said, finally ending the hug.

"No, no, don't say that," Emperor Belos said. "What was the Belos Bulletin I gave you on this very subject?"

"If people want to vocalize where they stand in the world, no reason not to let them do just that," Luz said with a sigh.

"Exactly. It's only natural that some people are above others, and if those below you want to take the chance to remind you that they're below you, it's to no one's benefit to deny them that opportunity. That being said, Amity, this is enough groveling, so you can raise your head now."

"R-Right! Sorry, your majesty!" Amity said, raising her head with a bit of hesitation. "Um, might I ask why you decided to grace my home with your presence?"

"Oh, I'm not going inside, just picking up my daughter. It's getting late, and since it's Luz's first day back on the Boiling Isles, I thought—"

"We could do some _kodoku_ while listening to some Dunwich jazz?" Luz cut in. "Right, that's how we always kick off my first day back. Can it wait a little later, though?" Emperor Belos started to slouch a little as he let out a small moan that was probably supposed to sound sad. "It's just that Amity was about to invite me inside her house to—"

"We can do that later!" Amity said rather quickly. "I mean, you're going to see Edric and Emira all the time once you can start going to school again, and then we'll be together for Abomination, Healing, and Bard classes, but you only get so much time with your father, so you should get as much out of it as you can! So, yeah. Do that." Emperor Belos' posture straightened out and he let out a sigh that was most likely meant to indicate joy. Amity still felt slightly disturbed by it all.

"Okay, yeah, if you say so. I can come see them tomorrow, or something," Luz said.

"Amity, you are a good child for understanding the value of the bond between a father and his child, and I am proud that Luz is part of your _chtenff_ ," Emperor Belos said.

"It's the other way around, really," Amity said to the best of her ability.

"Regardless, you are a good girl and a credit to your race. I'm glad that you'll continue making Luz a part of your life, whether it stays just like this or evolves into something else. The latter wouldn't be the worst thing in the world."

" _Ygnaiih_!" Luz then went off on Emperor Belos with a mixture of Spanish and R'lyehian. Amity's proficiency in both was only rudimentary, so she could only pick up bits and pieces, but she could gather that she was talking about her and saying a lot of good things about her, for some reason; she was happy about that, at least.

"Okay, okay, point taken. Let's go back to the palace and pick out a good assortment of insects, okay?"

"Okay." Luz looked like she regained her composure as she stepped over to Amity and gave her a quick hug. "See you later, Choco-Mint!"

"Y-Yeah. Later." It was a miracle that Amity managed to even get something like that out of her mouth. Luz gave Amity a quick wave before grabbing onto Emperor Belos and sinking into the ground with him as a pillar of flesh. With that done, Amity was free to go to her room, collapse onto her bed, and ruminate about everything that happened that day, positive and negative.

Brushing up on her Spanish and R'lyehian wouldn't hurt, either.

* * *

**Things to do once I become Empress:**

**Open a permanent doorway between the Human Realm and the Demon Realm so I can always go to both whenever I want and so Mom and Dad can get along again;***

**Install more tentacle massage parlors;**

**Make the Coven System less strict (get rid of the branding, let people join multiple Covens, etc.);**

**Get Mr. and Mrs. Blight to be nicer;**

**Find a way to reverse petrification and reanimate the people who, while criminals, probably didn't deserve something like that;**

**Go to the Kingdom of Far Far Away without needing to make constant pop culture references;**

**Get Lilith, who's always been a great teacher and definitely loves me, a boyfriend;****

**Change the rules of Grudgby so games won't always end in such a contrived way;**

**Pacify the Whore of Babylon by finding her pet beast, Therion;**

**Enact** _**prima nocta** _ **(don't know what that means, but Edric and Emira said Amity would get a kick out of it, so it stays);*****

**Increase recycling efforts so the Sacred Forests of the Nether Regions can grow bigger and allow for the creation of more Palismans;**

**Start a training program for humans interested in magic;**

**Put in a new water slide in the amusement park;**

**Reignite trade agreements with Lemuria that fell apart years ago due to Dad refusing to compromise with them and their pro-Theosophic traditions;**

**Change the academic calendar of the Boiling Isles so it's more aligned with the academic calendar back on Earth.**

***I wrote this when I was young and still didn't understand the full ramifications of divorce. I have long since accepted that my parents won't get back together, and I don't really want to think about it, anymore.**

****Or girlfriend. Whatever she's into (She does seem to get really awkward whenever she talks to either of Amity's parents, though it's most apparent with her mom)**

*****I now know what this means, so the next time I see those two, I am going to kick them in their respective genitalia.******

******I did it. Princess Luz, for the win.**


End file.
